We survived the first of three days of White Tantric Yoga here at Winter Solstice.
I realize that as I journal publicly about this event that the majority of you guys won't have a clue what I'm talking about.
What the hell is White Tantric yoga? First, it's definitely NOT the tantra you're probably thinking of (thanks Sting) and second, it's going to be difficult for me not to sensationalize it so I'm just going to be honest about my experience.
I'll be the first one here at Winter Solstice to admit that Kundalini Yoga is a bit "out there." And White Tantric is an extended, highly concentrated, and mentally challenging event that Kundalini yogis do to bypass the conscious mind and get right in there and clear out all the mental junk we carry around.
Nick and I were partners, which made this experience so special. I got to stare into his dreamy dark brown eyes for hours on end today while chanting various mantras, in a tent full of hundreds of other pairs doing the exact same thing.
We did four 62 minute yoga sets, and two 31 minute sets. So, for each set we were given instructions on what to chant and what mudra (hand position) to use, and then sat cross-legged and did it non-stop for the entire 62 minutes while staring deeply into each other's eyes trying not to laugh (or cry).
White Tantric Yoga is a very powerful practice.
The energy in the tent is nearly palpable. Staying focused and holding still while sitting cross-legged with your damn arms locked in any number of odd positions, while chanting loudly is one massive exercise in "mind over matter." Your body becomes really uncomfortable really quickly, but you have no choice but to keep up. Keep holding the posture, keep staring into those eyes, keep going.
And so that's just what we did all day. Some of the yoga sets were more challenging than others for us. We had waves of emotion rock through us and between us, especially during the second set. That's when I felt my love for Nick boil up inside me and fill me with the pain of regret for the times when I've hurt him. Clearly that's something I'm still working through and White Tantric is excellent for showing you those hidden blockages.
We had moments of immense discomfort, moments of annoyance at the behaviors of those around us, moments of wanting to stop, moments of WHAT THE FUCK! We had moments of clarity, and sincerity, and deep connection without words. Moments of unconditional love and feeling safe despite our vulnerability.
As we sat there intertwined in the chaos, I noticed the inescapable vulnerability that we had no choice but to experience. It opened up our hearts so wide and allowed love and contentment to come pouring in.
We have two more full days of this. I'm exhausted already.